to Those Who Wait. Is there anyone that has not heard this phrase over and over again in their lives? And we all know it to be true. Yet Dave and I have never felt the power of these words as strongly as we have these past couple of weeks in particular. This adoption journey has been much like a roller coaster thus far. We knew this would not be an easy process. Our social worker even said to us in the beginning, “Adoption is not for the faint of heart.” But I am not sure we were truly prepared for just how challenging it would be at times. Others that have been through the adoption process have shared similar experiences with us. So we know that this is all part and parcel for some families.
We learned this the hardest of ways this week. As soon as we had decided on which adoption agency we wanted to use and that we did indeed want to pursue the China program, we were told that we could request information about children listed on our agency’s website. I won’t go into all the details here but we did find a child we had hoped to pursue for adoption. And we held out great hope while waiting for news about our request. Because what else would we do?
Unfortunately, we found out after about a ten day wait that this was not going to happen for us with this particular child. And our hearts were broken. And we felt devastated. I didn’t know I could feel this way about a child I had never met. We had seen only three pictures. We had been sent a 45 second video to watch. That was it. Yet we felt this huge sense of loss when we were given the news. Which probably sounds strange to some of you reading this. And it is probably impossible to explain to anyone else that has not been on this journey before. And, to be fair to our agency, this is not normally how the process works. Normally, you complete most (if not all) of your paperwork and then you begin the matching process. So we did “jump the gun” a bit at this point. But that doesn’t take away the sting. It was one of the hardest things we have ever experienced. Yet still there is this great sense of hope that overrides the pain. Why? Because we have complete faith that OUR child is still waiting to find us. Or for us to find him or her. That child was meant for a different family. And we are slowly coming to be at peace with that. And therein lies the roller coaster ride we find ourselves on for now. There was both great excitement and great sadness during this time. And, slowly, the excitement is beginning to return as we feel that hope again. And we again tap into the faith that never left us. And we learn to cultivate the patience that is essential on this journey. The patience from which we will learn. The patience that will serve us well once we actually do have that little one in our home and we are all learning to be a family.
A few HUGE positives right now:
Our home visit with our social worker went exceptionally well this week! AND we have an immaculately clean home to enjoy for a while as a result!
Our home study – one of the biggest parts of the process – is pretty much complete as of this week (home visit was the last part of that process). Our social worker will be sending it to our adoption agency for review. They will, in turn, send it along to the US Government for our immigration approval. So in about 2 months we should get that.
We finished a lot of other dossier paperwork this week and got our passport applications/renewals sent away today as well.
So, little by little, we are making strides both small and large toward creating our forever family.
We are so grateful for those that have shared stories and experiences with us. We are also super thankful for those that have simply offered support on even the smallest of levels. We take great strength from knowing how much love and support there is within our community of friends and family. We will likely need to call upon that love and support many times during this journey both to our child and afterwards! Your words and hugs and love help more than you know. And even though the road may get a little bumpy sometimes, we know with complete faith and certainty that what waits at the end will be more reward than we could have ever imagined. So, thank you.
Our Rays of Hope 
We also inquired about a child from the photolisting before our homestudy was complete. We were matched with him, because apparently there had only been one other family inquire and they decided to move forward. He’s home now, but being matched so early was difficult in other ways. It was another 10 months before we traveled and so we saw him growing so much in the updates we received. It also made every little delay frustrating.
I know this loss is difficult, but when you are matched with YOUR child, then at least you know you won’t have to wait quite as long to hold him or her in your arms. 🙂
LikeLike
Thank you for these words of encouragement! We didn’t expect this process to be an easy one but it has definitely been tougher than we thought this early in the process. 🙂 We continue to feel hopeful and are still hoping to find our little one sooner than later. I know either way is going to be tough (being referred early or later). But we can’t wait to have a face to put on our dream!
LikeLike